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laurenj52's Friends
los_rascacielos |
26th December, 2009. 12:02 pm.
the WEIRDEST christmas i will ever have, im almost positive.
basic rundown is as follows:
december 24th: we just hung out all day, didnt really do much of anything, saw anna for a bit and walked her to the spa, waited until it got dark/cool and walked to the store myself in teh dark (scary shit, i need to be smarter) and bought cookie making supplies, talking the creepy store boy for a long time and decided i actually like him he is just a little *dur da dur*, made cookies while everyone went crazy in the house as people arrived around 9 PM, lost power until 1:30 AM basically and just did karaoke in the dark?, ate dinner at 130, crashed on couch, woke up at 330 for gift time!, opened gifts and shit with everyone until people started to disperse and sleep around 530, waited for my sister and brother to finish their gifts until 630, waited a half hour to see if my mom would open her gifts, at 7 she decided she was too tired and wanted to do it "tomorrow" aka later. SLEPT!
decemeber 25th: roberto brought me the phone/woke me at 12 noon, juan pablo called and said he was coming over, spent time with him until about 3 ish, anna called me and was like, "wanna go see pedro and theresa in the center?!", drank lots of sangria and played "i have never", last time we will see pedro before he goes back to brasil!!!! :(, went home, conversed with the relatives, anna came back over, we got ready and went out to nisha, discotecaaa and vodka, danced with everyone BUT juan pablo... uhm, thats a whole different entry, anddd came home at 2:11 AM and my mom was pissed? what?, layed on my floor with anna being reaaaally sober, skyped her friends in oregon, debated together about gustavo and how he is SO CUTE and juan pablo and how we just LOVE DIEGO SO MUCH <3, then i texted people in this order 1)gustavo 2)diego 3)fell asleep texting juan pablo... woke up to say hi to more of annas friends on skype around 430
december 26th: woke up to denisse the maid running around my room screaming "what happened in here!?!?", woke up with anna in my small baby bed, lol, cleaned my room, dressed anna bc her mom was like "WE ARE GOING TO PERU NOW!", went downstairs and was shunned by my family bascically, my mom said i cant turn on the AC.... so now im in my room fan on full blast hiding out and stickin it to her i hope but idk if that is working.
up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. that is how my life goes here in ecuador. that is it.
( here are the pictures. )
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los_rascacielos |
25th December, 2009. 7:19 am.
weirdest christmas ever. still havent slept and its 7:12 AM. juan pablo is in his bed wrapped in bandages and cant remember yesterday, recently, or what happened to him (?).. however has called me repeatedly asking me the same questions over and over and being very out of it. apparently he hit his head, or got hit, or something.. idk. its fuckin weird and scary and i cried a lot at first. gustavo called me and was like, "was juan pablo at your house today?!" all freaking out and weird shit and then finally told me the story and i was like, "dont joke with me. its not funny." and then when i found out it was for real i just started balling. it still feels weird and i dont know about it... mmmm, anyway gustavo is being the sweetest friend to me while also being my biggest fear. and i just waited up until now waiting for my f'ing mami to open her presents and she just decided she is too tired and needs to be attentive... "tomorrow" we will.... which is later today really. har har har. what a divster. i only cried in regards to missing my family at the dinner table 1 time, despite numerous attempts. i hate the attention after the first tear rolls because that makes it so so much worse. ( i know those situations are awkard for other people and they only want to comfort you but "awhhhh, VIVA LA KELSEY!" is NOT the way to go.) so for now, i will sleep and wake up idk when... hopefully get permission to go to juan pablo's house and make sure he is okay. all he kept saying on the phone was, "come here my love. i need you." poor little thing. what a nut case for real. xoxo.
merrrrry christmas y feliz navidad. espero que ustedes la pasen bien y que los mando todos mi amor, cariño, y besitos. <3
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los_rascacielos |
24th December, 2009. 7:11 pm.
this bedroom is a mess and so is my head. i am so happy, yet so nervous. so homesick. so far away. so tired. so alone. SO ALONE. i want to be warm and snuggled and loving everything. hug my sister. i love my little sister. i want to be doing dumb things with her while hiding from our family members and mocking the silly mannerisms they all have. today i was going through the gift bags, random gifts, etc that i brought from the US... and i opened a gift bag and a photobooth strip of 4 photos of danielle and i fell out and i just felt so sad/happy. rawr.
juan pablo wanted to stop by earlier but then idk why he couldnt. its alright its a busy day but i would like a hug and stuff.
xo. xo.
***"i love your skin. is so soft. those lips. que ricos." i am in the place i have dreamed about for months. your arms. the darkest room, the smallest couch. i pretend i will kiss you. when i get close enough to feel you breathing, i just pause and smile. you say, "youre a mean girl. dont do that to me." sorry. you are my christmas present. "esta noche es nuestra." yes yes. si. por fa. amor. i say, "sabes que eres mi vida. mi vida aqui. siempre vas a estar mi vida de ecuador." i just grab your curls and refuse to let you leave me. i want this all the time. todo el tiempo.
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los_rascacielos |
23rd December, 2009. 3:52 pm.
dude, my plan was to nap but im actually so happy/excited about him that i cannot fall asleep. is this real life?
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los_rascacielos |
23rd December, 2009. 2:24 pm.
JUAN PABLO CAME TO SCHOOL TODAY AND SURPRISED ME. last day before vacation and we could wear street clothes.. it was just a dance party allll day. omg so cute so cute. curls all over the place and these beaaauutiful eyes. oh lordie. he just automatically was so caring and silly and <3. head kisses, shoulder kisses. pinky kisses. :D we are going out tonight i hope hope hope!! (hookah what?) baila baila. :D eeep. sorry. SO HAPPY.
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los_rascacielos |
22nd December, 2009. 10:42 pm.
it isnt christmas, its just not. im sorry. actually no im not sorry because its not my fault that i dont feel like its christmas time. (i am ALWAYS saying im sorry. thats sick too.) im not particularly connected to the man heysuess cristo so i guess i dont really have anything to complain about. but the other christmas, the one that is commercial, aesthetic, tangible... its not here. a tree without lights. 90 degrees. no cookies. (except the ones i baked on my own in the kitchen every night.) (i have been cooking like a madwoman for days now every night in the kitchen alone, i love it.) there is nothing exciting and different happening. no "december" feeling. no 25 day countdown. im just so exhausted.
fuck fuck. im a boring emotional baby girl.
someday? maybe someday ill get it together.
tell me what to do with my future. what do you think?
im seriously. anonymously tell me what i should do now, in a year, in the long run?
help me.
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los_rascacielos |
22nd December, 2009. 12:08 am.
i need a self revolution and it needs to start tomorrow morning when i wake up. i dont feel the way i want to feel. i might never be happy with my entirety but i need to realize that doesn't mean i should ensure that my entirety sucks. makes sense ya? bitches and hoes. bitches and hoes. who even am iiiii. what is this crisis mentality i am in right now?
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los_rascacielos |
21st December, 2009. 11:01 pm.
Albert Einstein once said : “If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe then man would only have four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man.”
that just about scares the shit out of me. think about how retarded we are. injecting random stuff into animals to make them get mutantly bigger so we can eat them? (i just think of mondo burger from 'good burger'... buh.) putting nasty chemicals on our fruit and vegetables. spraying hair spray all over ourselves. killing the animals that are here for a reason.. and if they're not, then time will make them disappear. its just weird. we are in such a hurry to speed up every process. really though, EVERY PROCESS. LET IT BE. BAH. we are so rampant and there really cannot be a "going back", im pretty sure. i can only take so much of this shit seriously. college is going to steal alllll the money that i dont have just like it steals all the money that NO ONE has, and i just think about the world and all this dumb stuff and it makes me so pissed and stubborn. i just want to build a little cabin in a big field and grow my own little garden with a stream to wash my face in at the end of the day. im the biggest hypocrite i know but im fckn 18 and i dont know how to deal with any of this. WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!!!???!!?!
fuck d00d 2012 is comin- 3 years from today. what do you think?
dun DUN DUNNNNNN!
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